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your own true man

by Dan Johnson

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1.
if i cant see the milky way when i step out of my door at night if i cant see those stars shining their ancient alien light if I cant smell the woodsmoke floating in on the winter wind and i cant hear an owl singing to his lonesome friend and i cant taste the spark that lit the first fire and i cant pick a tune because my back is tired how will i know where i am how will i know where i am if im standing in the universe in this ever expanding moment on the crest of a mighty wave how will i know where i am i found out that my telephone cant take a picture of a star and a bunch of 1s and 0s cant really say where you are because if you keep walking and you walk far enough pretty soon youll realize you brought too much stuff then you get down to it you try to leave it all behind thats when you realize that you been walking inside your mind when i was a little boy i fell out of a boat into a mighty ocean then i learned to float then i learned to swim and i learned how dive and i learned i didnt need to breath just to keep myself alive then i began to fly way up into the air and i woke up in my memories curled up on the stairs
2.
i call it me 03:51
in the paisley night sky i saw a neon zodiac in the mystic ocean of truth i saw a train track the words don’t hate yourself were written in the mirror every step i walk away I’m getting nearer and nearer all these reasons don’t add up anyways i’m lost out on the prairie you’re lost here in this maze i don’t want to get your hopes up i don’t want to bring you down i just want to quit this broken record that keeps spinning me around all the people inside want to tell me to move along but i’m standing outside i been standing since dawn yes i’ve wondered who i was and thought i wasn’t on the list i never thought we could live like this yes i’ve wondered who i was and thought i wasn’t on the list i never thought we could live like this yes i’ve wondered who i was and thought i didn’t exist i never thought we could live like this i wish i could find a cause for all of these reasons i wish i could find a handle on all of these feelings i’ve been working day to day since i was sixteen found out there aint nothing but birth and death and the line in between all the things in this world are coming my way the stars at night and the sunlight in the day there’s nothing i want nowhere that i got to be call it lonesome call it sad i call it me i get high and get low but i don’t have to smoke or drink i just sit in the yard and look at things and think i know im smart enough to get out and get the job done i’m a working people and im not the only one ive got feelings that you can’t see with your eye ive had thoughts that flew up like a rocket in the sky i stopped worrying bout the things that were troubling my mind i been minding my business of living for a long long time
3.
blue cotton shirt red wool hat yellow lighter next to a burning cigarette last nights makeup yesterdays news hair of the dog even rainbows get the blues mommas jewels daddys coat you never even read that poem that he wrote painted floors exposed beams howd you get so careless about other peoples dreams needlepoint eyes in an ocean of tears let em fall like those forgotten years a book of poems with uncut pages the tea's gone cold it seems like ages that little room where we sat and cried looking out the window at the rainbow outside waiting for each other to make a move honey even rainbows sometimes get the blues
4.
the sands of time are gonna make us perfect gonna make us perfect gonna make us perfect the sands of time are gonna make us perfect but we aint there yet we aint there yet i changed your name you changed my life my pretty little wife my pretty little wife you are a diamond on the deep blue sea i see you swimming swimming back to me i can hear your heart beat like the music i see you dancing under the starlight there’s a cajun band and a string of lights you got your pretty dress on you got your pretty dress on one day at a time were raising our daughter in this crazy world you flow like a river you flow like water in this crazy world raising our daughter in this crazy world you smile like the moon you laugh like the wind smile like the moon laugh like the wind ill be home soon just look within in the light of the moon in the cool night wind
5.
the gift 02:39
it didnt come in a box it didnt come wrapped up it came to me in my dream and it filled my cup just when i thought there was nothing for me i turned around and what do i see some gifts are hard to find some gifts are hard to see some gifts cost money but this gift was free you hid it right there out in the open it was more than id been hoping some gifts just keep on giving some take everything you own but this gift is living and i cant use it all alone got a gift and im gonna give it all away i got more than i could spend in a million days it didnt come in a box it didnt come wrapped up came to me when i was sleeping and it filled my cup
6.
you watch the world burn without batting an eye you dont care who lives or dies as long as the check is written for the right amount i can feel your eyes and your icy calm i can’t shake your words they’re like burning napalm don’t change your ways on my account you laugh to yourself say everything dies you lie to yourself you say everyone lies really your whole life is in doubt you slam the door saying lets be friends as the story begins so the story ends but dont change your ways on my account going to bed with you is like going to war your lovers dying you look bored your lovers screaming and you cant hear a sound its you against the world in the heavyweight ring but you never fought for a goddamn thing but dont change your ways on my account you dissect your love with a boxcutter brain looking in your eyes is like staring down a train youre the rainmaker walking through the land of drought you cant see all the pain you cause because you’re listening for the studio applause but dont change your ways on my account a spider in a web with a venom heart i guess we all have to play our part you enter the stage and the knives come out your footprints are made out of blood you can crush a man like he was made out of mud dont change your ways on my account you talk about illusion buddhism and truth i say youre a killer and you ask me for proof the judge is trying to decide what youre really about time is a prison but you were born inside youre trapped inside a mirror where youre pretending to hide dont change your ways on my account
7.
8.
i could have been standing on the top of a mountain with the wild wind blowing free and the stars all telling a story about the time in eternity i could have been a sailor with my compass right in my hand just watching the waves roll by as i travel to some distant land but i will be here for you i will be here for you i could have been an artist my name in a magazine could have been somebody famous back when i was nineteen i could have been an outlaw because i know what my time is worth i could have been a judge and i still don’t know which is worse maybe i could be your husband maybe we could both be true and i hope that you could love me because i know that i love you maybe we could raise some babies and watch them grow up tall and as we walk through this life we will catch them when they fall
9.
tiny boxes 02:02
apartment buildings on the river banks all shot up with bullet holes theres craters in the playgrounds the hospitals have fallen down and the people were put in boxes and laid underneath the dirt little boxes tiny boxes all made out of cut down trees tiny boxes on the hillside wood and plastic siding no match for the gunships that prowl the air you need concrete you need iron to survive the shelling and the snipers on the rooftops with bullets from americay tiny boxes full of bullets shipped around the continents and missiles oh missiles underneath the green waves boxes tiny boxes were gonna need more tiny boxes they wont rest until they put us all in tiny boxes yes its sad that your parents made you go to college they didnt let you become the person you were meant to be but it aint so bad after all you get to run the big war machine making boxes tiny boxes all full of tiny moneys boxes tiny boxes all filled up with dollar bills you can bury them with you parents all over the hills and when our children cry for freedom and complain about the boxes just tell them what ive told you and all will be okay
10.
say what you will i will say what i can when a police kills an unarmed man sometimes i wonder what it means other times its clear as day im not passing any judgment ill just tell my story and be on my way it was a thursday like every thursday we all love thursday its a chance to be alive my friend was selling cigarettes selling cigarettes out on the street im not passing any judgment on him or the police i heard later that they choked my friend they threw him on the ground its hard to understand why did they need to choke my friend and throw him on the ground im not passing any judgment its probably as bad as it sounds i figure it just got out of hand sometimes that happens you know its hard to imagine what its like out on patrol day in day out the police are all that protects us in the end im not passing any judgments im just telling you what happened to my friend he died on the street with his face on the concrete they were doing their job he died at their feet it looks bad i guess and i cant tell you what i think in the end im not passing any judgment im just telling you what happened to my friend
11.
forget it 01:54
hidden inside these shiny buildings where no one has to look at how we feel were waiting to be seen by the doctors with their needles and blades of stainless steel forget it forget about the tests probably better if i go home and get some rest forget it i know this hasn’t gone as planned i just need someone to hold my hand none of us say a word at all we just watch the television on the wall then the doctor will tell us what we’ve got then we’ll leave from another door into a parking lot forget it i guess nobody minds if i just slip out the door someone can take my place in line i don’t want to take a pill to help the fear no one will know that i’m not here
12.
even keel 03:04
dont rock the boat dont spill the milk dont cry when the road isnt smoother than silk bumps on a log bumps in the road im bound to travel dont you wanna go an even keel a satisfied mind if you want to keep moving got to leave something behind you keep on changing doing what you feel when the storms on the ocean you keep an even keel you sail the seas might hit the rock but ships werent made to tie up at a dock winds might change you can too but that dont change who you are its just the things youre going through look out the window look out the door when you cant stand looking at yourself anymore go take a walk take it in stride aint nowhere you cant go aint nowhere you can hide
13.
i woke up in the hospital the lights were coming clear there were people standing round me voices only i could hear and then someone leaned over and whispered in my ear you can be free if you can let go of your fear its written on your face the things you think you’ve buried deep but those secrets that you’re hiding weren’t never yours to keep honey when you look back i hope you aint losing sleep those wolves are always hungry but there aint nothing there to eat shadows in the mirror always run into the light they say we’ll never make it but i like to think we might if i don’t break the law i wont go to jail in a world of lies we hope the truth will prevail but it’s hard to get my head straight and walk a righteous trail when hearts and minds are up for grabs and bodies are for sale i got to find a solid rock in this ocean deep and wide someplace to catch my breath before I’m drowning in the tide theres blood in the water theres sharks on every side maybe if i stop fighting the good lord will provide it’s always been my way to want to keep it to myself but now i find that my self is bad for my health so I’m gonna let it go and try to trust somebody else the light shines the wick burns the wax melts and i will spend this paper dollar as i wander through this land like a sparrow who eats the crumbs from a beggars shaky hand i will cross this open ocean and sleep at night on the sand in the freedom of this moment without regret and without plan my eyes are blinded in the reflections and my ears so full of wax my hands are wrapped up in prayers my feet are tripping in the tracks my fingertips are dancing on the shard edge of an ax if i could just calm down i might be able to relax my mind is wrapped up in thinking my heart is pumping hot red blood but there’s a part of me thats free from this kingdom of mud it’s like a rainbow when i see it as im drowning in the flood must be my spirit flying free on the wings of a dove
14.
punch a clock punch it out when you get to end of the day then you get into your old beat up car and then you drive away and then you go down to the bar stare at the mirror there and you wonder what you're doing here and then you breath the air i aint no hero i aint got no master plan I'm gone to kansas city i will call you if i can it dont seem much to you but my problems are my own you can't take away my dignity because id rather be alone im looking at these pictures that i took on my telephone back when we were kids and we were so sure we were grown i aint got no job but im bound to be the boss the crowd all went home so wont you get down off the cross conversations smoke rings trying to break these empty chains take away the bodies and lets see the remains like the pyramids of my ego the mountains of my needs piled in the resurrections of my most mundane deeds made a fool out of everyone trying to prove I aint born to die even gods own children got to fly into the sky so don't ask why im trying to tell you something thats been burning in my mind but the opinions you insinuate make the truth too hard to find pretend you're not so complicated maybe you'd find liberation until then you're just a prisoner to your vain imagination honey i wont lie about my reasons for being here its just you seem attached to thinking must be some kind of fear so it appears punch a clock punch it out when you get to end of the day then you get into your old beat up car and then you drive away and then you go down to the bar stare at the mirror there and you wonder what you're doing here and then you breath the air i aint no hero i aint got no master plan I'm gone to kansas city i will call you if i can your own true man

about

The latest outing from veteran songwriter Dan Johnson shows an experienced pen and unadorned guitar work which could be compared to John Prine. This work demonstrates a new willingness to take a journalistic approach to his songwriting, like Woody Guthrie might have. He explores topics like love, family, and the journey of self-exploration, as well as violence in our society and the loneliness of illness. Fans of straight ahead folk songs and hard hitting songs for hard hit people won’t be disappointed.

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Recorded at home on a MacBook in Logic through an M-Audio M-Track 2x2m, using AKG Perception 400 (vox) and CAD small diaphragm (guitar).

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released June 1, 2018

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Dan Johnson Burlington, Vermont

low key folk music - (how many?) records, a few (dozen?) years worth of weird gigs, no pressure y'all... did shows with some great folks and I just love country bluegrass and any kinda folk song mostly...

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